5 tricks to juggling your busy life (+ down time for you)

Cook, chef, house keeper, lover, mother, biz owner, career woman, friend, daughter, chauffeur if there’s anything I’ve missed just add it to the list. Doing your best to juggle your life and your time to ensure everything and everyone is cared, nourished, loved and supported is an understatement. So many women who I work with and that I know are grappling with this balance on a moment by moment basis.

Whatever stage of life you are at, whether it be in between relationships, want a new relationship, married, pregnant, have 2.3 kids with hubby or without, or your kids have flown the nest (or as they would probably put it coop) or just in your life where you are at a fork in the road, there is a juggle.

Let’s be frank there are so many areas of life, physical health, work/biz, family, friends, financial, emotional, spiritual, mental, just to name a few and the holy grail is to ensure that they are all balanced so you have not only a successful life yet a fulfilling life as well.

How do you juggle your life and have down time for you? And how do you improve or shift the juggle so it is what you want and need? A moment to enjoy a cup of tea, read a trashy novel or munch on a piece of cake. Whether the majority of your day is invested in working or being a stay at home mum, or studying. Driving your kids to activities or finishing assignments for online courses, or professional development, we all have the same amount of time and hours in the day. I have come up with 5 tricks for you to help with the endless juggle so that you have down time for you to fill your tank up, begin to enjoy the juggle and feel on top of things so that you have them handled and never run on empty again.

1. Remember to Shift modes

The problem is whether being a lover, mother, biz owner, career woman, friend, daughter we have so many different modes to juggle in any given day. Sometimes you may feel weighed down by all the modes you need to shift from and to and sometimes you may avoid a mode altogether because there is only so much fuel in the tank.

So the solution is to be aware and conscious about shifting modes whether it is working woman to mum or friend to lover. If you are at work whether that is biz or career, after work on the way home or before you leave your office if it is at home give yourself a few moments to shift from work woman to mother or lover or partner or friend. It is a very simple way of being able to let go of and shift from the previous mode to begin the new one, it means you will be more present and able to handle whatever comes up in the moment with humour, love and grace.

2. Take yourself into consideration

Taking yourself into consideration is all about self care, self love and down time for you. The problem is so many women have not been taught that in order to have the energy, time and space to be and have all that you want for yourself and others it is important to think about what it is YOU need in each situation. A lot of women I know and work with (previously myself included) habitually used to being overly responsible for everyone and everything. What happens next is then feel resentful toward the people they are feeling responsible for and expecting help to come, when it doesn’t.

The challenge with this is if you have been in a situation where you have been the overly responsible one for a period of time, there has been no space for your loved ones or colleagues to learn and contribute to the responsibility that actually ought to be there instead, for example doing the cooking in the family, if you have been the one to prepare, plan and cook the meals, then you expect your hubby, partner, friend or kids to do it, it won’t come naturally to them.

So the solution is to reflect on where it is you take responsibility for others and leave no time, space or energy for yourself and then subsequently become resentful and anger when all you want to be is loving and feel connected. Why do you do this? What are you potentially getting out of it? Then be kind with yourself and commit to giving yourself more consideration daily.

3. Change who’s in charge

Many philosophers, spiritual healers and quantum physicists that your inner reality is what creates your outer results, the reason I share this is that you can change your life or aspects of this if you want by asking the below questions.

Who’s running, driving or steering your inner ship, car, buggy?

Who is giving you praise or criticism?

Who is giving you permission to let go and finish for the day or pushing you to get it done at all costs, regardless of the fall out or impact?

The problem is that the expectations that are set up to have you succeed or fail are usually a result of inner dialogue that you have yet to become aware of. When you know it really is time to stop working or tidying the house, or not putting your partner’s or the kids clothes away or ordering take out because you worked to hard that day. How are you feeling about yourself? Are you hearing “useless, you can’t do anything right, no wonder you look the way you do” or “lovely my darling it’s been a busy day just relax and let the rest of the to do list go for today”. So the solution is to be aware of who is in charge and if you don’t like who’s in charge then find a way to invite who you want in to shift and change things.

4. Welcome R & R in daily (not just on holidays)

In this Busy face paced technology driven world, time outs are unheard of, most people spend more time on social media instagram, twitter, facebook then recharging our own batteries for a few minutes a day. Yet to continue to be healthy, happy and even sexy rest and relaxation are a MUST. Most women will give to just about every one and his dog before giving to themselves. This is a problem because of the “put your oxygen mask on and then help others in the event of an emergency on an airplane”, how many women including you do you think do this? Most don’t. The problem with this is if you are not rested and relaxed you are more inclined to be irritated, anger, have a short fuse and hurl something at the wall when life presents an opportunity to laugh, enjoy yourself or be silly.

The solution to this is to commit to yourself to rest and relax. When my little one was a newborn the self care nugget I was given was when the baby is sleeping you sleep, well I can tell you, you don’t need to have a baby to give yourself permission to have a nanna nap and keep your batteries recharged. Commit to have a minimum of 5 minutes (or however long you need) down time daily, whether that’s when all the kids are asleep, or on the commute home or having a little longer shower or even better bath to close your eyes and give yourself some relaxation.

5. The importance of the word “No”

Do you want to be liked and polite to others? Were you taught good girls don’t say no when others need help? What was your mother or caregiver like about saying no? Saying yes to others and putting yourself last has been ingrained from a very young age so it’s not your fault if you are a closeted (or out of the closet) people pleaser.

Putting yourself first has not been taught to you, so give yourself a break if you don’t use no as often as you should. This is probably the most important preventative health measure you can do to ensure you remain well and balance your busy life healthily. Saying no to others lets them know you value your time and energy and ensures that when they ask you for something it is because they really need it and not because they couldn’t be bothered to figure it out for themselves, or that they can ALWAYS rely on you. The solution is to say NO, to at least three requests you get this week and see what happens and how you feel about yourself after saying it. Now you may have people not happy about you saying no, if they are used to you saying yes, however hold firm and see this as an experiment in people’s behaviour and just observe your response, how you feel, what you say to yourself, what you think about the other person and their response.

BONUS

6. Surrender (not the white flag kind)

Whether the laundry has piled up, there’s no food left in the cupboards, you have your to do list for work still way too long, the emails you were meant to send didn’t get done and you have gifts to buy for the party on the weekend. The problem is you probably feel that you are in your life alone and that there really isn’t anyone who understands, loves, or is there for you deeply. It all falls to you to get it sorted and still look like you stepped onto the red carpet at the end of the day. Here’s what to do instead. Surrender, let go of the problems, to do list, things to shop for and prepare for and have a moment of true freedom. Surrender is letting life (divine, nature, goddess, god, Buddha etc..) in and co-creating with life as our friend. This may be new to you, yet give it a moment if you believed that life was your friend then as a friend it would begin to send help, create opportunities to let you rest, support you, accept you, love you when you needed it.

Have you ever had a moment when you needed something and then you get a call from a friend out of the blue who has the exact thing you needed. Or your partner or loved one came home with take out when you didn’t have enough energy to cook dinner, or when you called a friend and she was going through a similar hard time to you and you could support each other and it felt like you could get through it together. My invitation to you is to surrender in the moments when you feel like it’s all to much, remember to surrender and let go what your feeling to life for the next 3 days and see what miracles happen.

If you have any questions or comments to share about this article please email me on Shaylin@shaylinrose.com.